Time. Perspective. Acceptance.

Ever since I can remember, people have always been telling me to enjoy being ‘young’, they’re the best days of your life and will go quickly etc… We’ve all heard the phrase ‘life’s too short’ right? I always listened to this advice, but I think I am just starting to feel it.

July 20th 2016, marked 2 years of being with my lovely boyfriend and I just can’t comprehend how quickly that time has gone. So much has happened, in what feels like such a short space of time. Facebook and Timehop also remind me daily, of previous life events, and I am always shocked at how far away in the past the events were. Then my calendar on my phone will notify me that it’s my birthday in less than 3 months, and I’m turning 20! I genuinely feel like my 18th was a few months ago!

Isn’t it incredible how a difficult week can feel like an eternity, but a week of happiness is over before you know it? I think it is true – time flies when you’re having fun.  This reflection on how quickly life is moving reminds me of how precious every second of every day is, and the significance of every person I meet in my life.

I wanted to post this as to show how beneficial reflecting now and then can be. Firstly because it reminds you how far you have come and all the things you’ve pushed through (that at the time seemed impossible). Secondly, because it provides PERSPECTIVE. That boy you cried over, that exam you had, the ‘sickness’ you felt, all seemed like the worst thing in the world – at the time!

Reflecting on the past allows me to be a lot better at accepting. Accepting situations, feelings, events – life. When something triggers an emotion in me (usually worry!) I now use perspective and start to ask myself ‘will this matter next week, next month, next year?’ Obviously I am not suddenly carefree and void of all reactions; but when challenges occur, questioning the significance of them in the grand scheme of things, does help!

Learning to accept the past has become a major breakthrough for helping my anxiety. (I’m still trying to put it into practise – not always successfully). But when we accept that we can’t change what has happened, but we can try to change what happens next, it is reassuring and replaces worry with determination, hope and excitement for the future.

All this reflecting has provided me with this conclusion, which I wanted to share…

I can’t stop time from passing so quickly, but I AM going to make a greater effort to appreciate what I have in each moment….and If the saying ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ really is true, then I’d like to think that time flying along for me reflects how I (try to) live my life –having fun!

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5 thoughts on “Time. Perspective. Acceptance.

  1. I can’t thank you enough for writing about this. This is one of those topics I feel silly bringing up with family/friends as they just don’t seem to get it. So it was nice to read about it from such an intellectual perspective!

    I find it really interesting about how you mention you challenge difficult situations by asking yourself if this will matter in a week/month/year or so. I remember my therapist asking me something similar when I had CBT. I completely forgot about this technique. I’m actually going to write it down now so I remember to use it when the next challenging situation arises.

    One more question. When you reflect on the past, do you have any specific tips on how not to indulge in it too much? My problem is that I think about the past too much and romanticize it you see.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi there!
    Thank you so much for taking time to read my blog and comment. It really means a lot to know that someone has benefited from my writing.

    I understand how it can feel silly/out of place to bring it up with friends and family. But you never know, these family and friends might also like to reflect on the past with you 🙂 You could try making it about something they have achieved/done and then they might get it….

    BY THE WAY….I am in no way qualified to provide advice, everything I say is purely from my own experience – merely a person trying to share my ideas and let other people (like yourself) know that they are not alone.

    As for indulging in thinking about the past too much, that’s a good point. I often look back and make something seem a lot better than it was at the time – usually it is a sign that I am dissatisfied with my current situations (watch out for this, if this is the case you need to be thinking about what in the present moment is making you feel this way). The fact that you are aware you do that is actually, in my opinion, a good thing, because you KNOW that you are as you say ‘romanticizing’ it; you KNOW that it is not the whole truth. Without knowing your specific situation I would suggest you need to (as I mention in my blog) start turning your attention to the present, your reality. Write down what you are thinking of in the past. Then write down how you feel in the present and what you have. Following this, write your goals for the future. Seeing the three stages next to each other will help it get it out of your brain (helps me anyway!). It also visually helps you to distinguish what you can and can’t change. You can set your new hopes for the future and make each ‘present’ moment a step towards achieving what you want from the future. Obviously (as we all know), the future doesn’t always go to plan… so take time to reflect and compare each stage of your life (perhaps as I say write it down), but then ACCEPT IT and move past it, and focus on your present – because that is all we really have 🙂

    I hope my ramblings make some sense, look forward to hearing from you!

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  3. Alannah how does a young woman like you have so much wisdom? I know people in their fifties who have never grown emotionally. I wish you were around when I was 18. Thank you for putting life into perspective. It’s really got me thinking. Thinking in a positive way.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Alannah where were you when I was 18? Your wisdom astounds me. I know people in their fifties who have never grown emotionally. They just go through life leaving train wrecks behind them. Instead of reflecting on why their close relationships end they continue to make the same mistake over & over. Thank you for putting everything into perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

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